My Why

After two months of inquiries and follow-up emails, we finally sat in the cold conference room directly across from each other. I felt nervous to be the focus of the conversation. 

I had gone above and beyond enough that I knew I didn't have to worry about losing my job, but a performance review wracks my nerves every time. It follows the same format for me:

"It's impressive that you did this and that. 

But,

*sucks in breath*

you need to stop caring so much about the work you do. 

Don't take it personally when people don't follow-up or care about your ideas. 

Try to separate yourself from the work so that you're not emotionally connected to the outcomes so much."

To the corporate and non-profit world, this is my failing:

I care too much about my work.

That's why I feel like a misfit. Like I'll never really be happy in a 9-5 because the why matters so much to me. It's the reason I tend to start strong and fizzle out when I have trouble putting my name in front of an organization because the work they do doesn't align with my personal ethics. 

Thankfully, I finally accept that I don't fit. 

Instead of forcing my round self into a square box, I'm creating my own template. I'm growing my freelancing and writing and starting a new website that focuses on healthy living. 

Why?

I believe that we're all capable of much more than we're doing for ourselves, but we have allowed others to strip us of our power. 

We're scared. 

We need a normal someone to show us by example that we're capable of great things. 

I want to use my words and my life to be that example. 

I care too much about it to waste my time doing anything else.